KBearlog

Saturday afternoon I heard that Don Knotts had passed away. Don died on Friday night at UCLA Medical Center from lung cancer. He was 81 years old. Most people knew Don as the bumbling, high strung, somewhat delusional but good hearted Barney Fife, the deputy sheriff in Mayberry North Carolina, the fictional town on The Andy Griffith Show. If you don’t know what The Andy Griffith Show is, then stop reading now, because I can’t imagine you being interested in this.

The Andy Griffith Show is one of the all time classic sitcoms in TV history. The main reason for that was Don Knotts. He turned Barney Fife into one of the great characters of TV. That’s not just my opinion. Millions felt that way, and his peers felt that way also since Don won five Emmy Awards for the role. He and Andy Griffith made a great comedy team. I still like to watch the show sometimes on TV Land. The episodes when Don was still on the show still hold up after all these years.

This morning I also found out that Darren McGavin died yesterday at the age of 83. Darren was a prolific actor, but to me he’ll always be Carl Kolchak from Kolchak: The Night Stalker, the precursor of The X-Files. I use to watch it on Friday nights on ABC. I’ll admit the show doesn’t hold up as well, but I always liked Kolchak, so the show is still pretty good.

It’s surprising how upset you get when actors who played your favorite characters die. Even though you feel bad that the actor died, aren’t you really more upset that the character died. I’m sure Don Knotts was a nice man, but isn’t more likely that I’m more upset that Barney Fife died. In a way it’s Barney Fife who came into my home every week, not Don Knotts, so it’s Barney I’m mourning. I know it’s stupid but don’t you feel that way too? So rest in peace Don Knotts and Darren McGavin and thanks for all the joy you brought to millions.

Gregory Itzin should get an Emmy nomination for his portrayal of President Logan on 24. No one has ever played a weasel better than he has. If he isn’t nominated for an Emmy, then I’ll happily nominate him for Best Weasel in a Drama. He was at his best last night. Agreeing to give the Russian President’s motorcade route to the terrorist is the type of spinelessness only President Logan can do. What a way to celebrate President's Day. I can understand why the First Lady is crazy, if you were married to Logan, wouldn’t you go nuts too? Even though she’s unstable, you have to credit the First Lady for having some courage. She gets in the motorcade to try to force her husband to do the right thing. I’m afraid she has a little too much faith in the man.

Over at CTU, Lynn McGill was showing us why Logan hired him, he can spot a fellow weasel. Lynn is beginning to have a total breakdown and is losing control of CTU. That happens when you go against Jack Bauer. Technically Lynn had a right to be paranoid, everyone (Audrey, Chloe and Bill Buchanan) was working against him, but only because once Logan started putting the pressure on him about the nerve gas canisters, he cracked. Taking Jack out of the field so he could have a scapegoat, not cool.

While reading about Dubai Ports World takeover of operations for six major U.S. ports, I started thinking about 24. Wouldn’t this takeover be the beginning of a major terrorist plan on that show? The owners of Dubai Ports World would actually be terrorists planning an attack with the cooperation of well placed moles in the U.S. government. You can see President Logan being completely shocked that his friends at Dubai Ports World would be behind this, and then deciding to sacrifice Baltimore to protect his administrations reputation. Someone get Jack Bauer to investigate this transaction.

Just about every night on TV except for Saturday night, there is something on TV I enjoy. Sunday nights has Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives; Monday nights have 24 and Girlfriends; Tuesday nights have Scrubs and Supernatural; Wednesday nights have Veronica Mars and Lost; Thursday nights have Everybody Hates Chris, My Name is Earl and The Office; and Friday nights have Battlestar Galactica and Numbers. That’s not including other shows I watch regularly and new shows or special events that come on. So I’ll try to share with you what interesting thing I saw on TV.

On Grey’s Anatomy, George finally told Meredith he loved her and in response she started taking George’s clothes off. Normally I’d say this was a good thing for a dude, but in George’s case, not so much. George was acting pretty pathetic last night, and for his trouble, a certain Meredith Grey is going to break his heart in a million little pieces. Strangely enough this is probably the best thing for him, because now he should be able to finally move on and find someone who actually cares about him. Addison should take this advice. The man who helped break her and McDreamy up, Mark (McSteamy), pointed out to her that Derek doesn’t love her now but loves Meredith. It was harsh, but I hope it’s the wake up she needs. I’m getting a little tired of this triangle, but they are adding so many permutations to it that you’ll have to be a mathematician to understand it.

As most everyone knows, Desperate Housewives started off pretty slowly this year. You’ve probably read about their famous sophomore slump. It took them awhile, but they finally got the show back on course. That doesn’t mean it’s as good as it was last year, I get the feeling it never will be, but at least it’s enjoyable. Grey’s Anatomy has surpassed it as the TV destination for Sunday nights. Last nights episode was good and the storyline I liked best was the one between Lynette and Bree. I like when Felicity Huffman and Marcia Cross have scenes together, they work so well together that you’d believe they are longtime friends. A nice scene when Lynette confronts Bree about her drinking and to help Bree see she has a drinking problem, she lines up all the wine bottles Bree went through. Bree is an upper class wino.

I’ll admit that I started watching The L Word because Jennifer Beals is the star and there was suppose to be some hot sex scenes in it. So really it’s not hard to hook a heterosexual male audience, have hot women having sex. Now I watch the show because I’ve grown to like the characters, plus there are still some hot sex scenes between the ladies. Last night though, I really didn’t need to see the sex scene between Moira and Billie. Moira is planning on having a sex change and becoming a man. She’s in a relationship with Jenny who’s a lesbian. Since she’s started her hormone treatments, she screwed a gay man named Billie wearing a strap-on. I can honestly say folks; I don’t know what the hell was going on there.

Did you watch Supernatural last night? Dean and Sam were in the backwoods of Minnesota looking for a creature that was kidnapping people. Sam was grabbed and Dean discovered that it wasn't monsters that grabbed Sam, it was humans. They were a backwoods clan kidnapping people so that they could hunt them. So I have to ask, does Cheney have family up in Minnesota?

It’s Valentine’s Day and romance is on my mind. I started thinking about some of my favorite couples from some of my favorite shows from the past and present. So my Valentines Day gift to you is a list of my favorite TV couples.

Dewayne and Whitley [Kadeem Hardison and Jasmine Guy]…A Different World, 1987-1993. When the show began, Denise Huxtable was the main character, and Dewayne Wayne had a crush on her. Whitley Gilbert was just that snooty Southern girl who annoyed Denise. Near the end of the first season Dewayne and Denise go out on a date. Whitley who had loaned Dewayne the money for the date, barges in on them because she’s depressed about spending the summer at home with her mother. Instead of kicking Whitley to the curb, Dewayne takes the time to comfort her. In that scene we saw the chemistry these two actors had. That chemistry would make them the stars of the show after Lisa Bonet left and make them one of my favorite TV couples. It was nice seeing an average good guy like Dewayne end of with the campus beauty.

Mulder and Scully [David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson]…The X-Files, 1993-2002. Yeah they were battling a massive alien conspiracy, (which I still haven’t figured out yet), and were confronting all sorts of supernatural occurrences, but the biggest mystery Mulder and Scully had to confront was the heart. These two very hot people who spent nearly every waking hour together (when Scully wasn’t being abducted, or Mulder was out chasing a lead by himself and having to be rescued by Scully later) could never admit how they felt about each other. We of course knew, but we didn’t actually get any official confirmation until Season 8 (which I pretend doesn’t exist; don’t look at me that way). Nothing says love like kissing while holding your possibly alien baby.

Kevin and Winnie [Fred Savage and Danica McKellar]…The Wonder Years, 1988-1993. Who can forget their first love? The first time you actually liked a girl, and did everything in your power not to let anyone know. Sitting there daydreaming about her. Doing anything you could to be close to her without making it appear obvious (of course it was to everyone). Finally getting up the courage to tell her you like her and to your relieve and happiness finding out she likes you too. If you’re older you date and you find out a lot about them and yourself. Eventually comes the break-up and you’re sure you won’t survive it until the next love of your life appears. But sometimes, that first love is more than a crush, and your relationship is deeper than you could ever imagine. That was Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper. It was great for a show to take young love seriously and let us reminisce about our own.

Xena and Gabrielle [Lucy Lawless and Renée O’Connor]…Xena: Warrior Princess, 1995-2001. It started off as a hero/sidekick relationship. The sidekick admires and adores the hero, while the hero protects and tolerates the sidekick. The relationship developed into a strong friendship, with the hero beginning to treat the sidekick as an equal. Soon fans began to speculate that it was more than just friendship. They were brave, loyal, loving to each other, and they also shared baths. Every little thing they did began to be scrutinized like it was passages from the Dead Sea Scrolls and we were given a lot of clever scenes to scrutinize. The emotions between them were too intense just to be friends. The chemistry between the two actresses added fire to the subtext. This was the first time we saw a relationship between women played out like this on TV and the producers of the show weren’t trying to squash what we thought we were seeing. Xena and Gabrielle were the classic romantic couple and we wanted them to be together.

Remington Steele and Laura Holt [Pierce Brosnan and Stephanie Zimbalist]…Remington Steele, 1982-1987. Like a lot of relationships, this one was build on a lie. There really wasn’t a Remington Steele, just a charming rogue who was impersonating him. You could understand why Laura didn’t want to get involved with him. Then again it’s easy to see why she would. The charming rogue was actually a good man who sometimes did live in a bit of a fantasy world but who actually cared for Laura. They both had walls build up against having a relationship with anyone, Steele not knowing who he really was and Laura with her father abandonment issues. Still a lot of relationships have barriers like this and it was fun watching Mr. Steele and Miss Holt break through theirs.

Tim and Dawn [Martin Freeman and Lucy Davis]…The Office, 2001-2003. Jim and Pam [John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer]…The Office, 2005-????. I loved the original version of The Office when I first watched it on BBC America. Aside from the brilliant Ricky Gervaise as David Brent, I loved The Office U.K. because of Tim and Dawn. They gave this show its heart. Haven’t we seen someone we like in a relationship with someone totally unsuitable for them. We fall into the friendship zone with them and are afraid to say anything least we lose even that. You can sense the other person might have feelings for you but they’re just as afraid as you are. Not a lot of fun is it? So when I heard that NBC was going to do an Americanized version of The Office, I thought it was going to be a complete disaster. Because of my initial feelings about the show, it took me awhile to warm up to the show. Thanks to My Name is Earl I started watching it regularly and now I’m a big fan. One of the reasons for it is the relationship between Jim and Pam, the American version of Tim and Dawn. John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer have done a fantastic job of making the relationship their own. NBC didn’t screw it up, now that’s a miracle.

Steed and Mrs. Peel [Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg]…The Avengers, 1965-1967. Before there was a Warrior Princess named Xena, a Vampire Slayer named Buffy, or a spy named Sydney, there was a beautiful badass British agent named Emma Peel. Her partner was the urbane and witty John Steed. Watching those two together, you found yourself wanting to be British. Mrs. Peel was one of the first truly liberated women on TV and she and Steed treated each other as equals (even though who are we kidding, Mrs. Peel was far superior). The two had great chemistry together and truly cared for each other, but they never made it romantic (or at least we never saw it, don’t forget they were spies). Too make matters worse Mr. Peel reappeared from the jungles of Africa or wherever he was loss and Mrs. Peel left the show. I wish something had eaten Mr. Peel.

John and Aeryn [Ben Browder and Claudia Black]…Farscape, 1999-2003. It was a show set in space with Puppets! How could you take it seriously? You could once you started watching it. One of the best Science Fiction series of all time and one of the most romantic shows ever on TV. You could thanks John Crichton and Officer Aeryn Sun for that. John was an American astronaut lost in space and Aeryn was the beautiful alien who John would fall in love with. Aeryn was a trip, sure she looked human and had all the girl parts, but she was still an alien and didn’t see things the way John did. Aeryn was a soldier and she thought John was an inferior being. Eventually the two grew to respect each other and to trust their lives with the other. Once they got through all the women are from Venus men are from Mars (or in this case Earth) crap, the two fell in love. So basically it’s like any love story, boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets back girl. The obstacles they had to face might be more than the one’s you’ve faced, like having Scorpius breathing down your neck. John and Aeryn prove that love is universal.

Carla and Turk [Judy Reyes and Donald Faison]…Scrubs, 2001-????. I love Scrubs, one of the best comedies of this decade. The show can be so surreal and the characters can be so quirky, that if the show wasn’t grounded, it could just become stupid and silly. One of the ways the show is grounded is through the relationship of Carla and Turk. Instead of giving us one of those insufferable are they or aren’t they relationships, they have given us a stable relationship that isn’t dull. They are both wacky in their own way, but they don’t let that come between them. It’s easy to root for Carla and Turk, and its actually entertaining watching a couple act like a couple.

Joan and Adam [Amber Tamblyn and Chris Marquette] and Luke and Grace [Michael Welch and Becky Wahlstrom]…Joan of Arcadia, 2003-2005. It was about a teenage girl who talked to God with God being the one who initiated the conversation. It was also about her family and friends, and how she dealt with it all. Two of her new best friends were Adam Rove and Grace Polk. Adam was this shy weird guy who everyone thought was a stoner. Grace was this tough androgynous girl who everyone assumed was a lesbian. Joan found out that in realty Adam was a sensitive artist still grieving over his deceased mother while Grace was a smart, non-conformist, who might like the right man if he came along. Strangely he did in the form of Joan’s science geek brother Luke. It would seem like a strange pairing and Grace fought against it, but she soon realized Luke wasn’t really a geek, just passionate about science and in trying to be true to himself, something Grace was trying to be too. It didn’t hurt he was also a great kisser. Adam and Joan developed a much deeper connection. In a way they probably grew too close and dependent on each other, but that’s what made their relationship so intriguing to watch. They weren’t your typical teenage couple (or maybe they were). They had broken up because of Adam’s cheating by the end of season 2, and if CBS weren’t being run by Satan, we could have seen how their relationship would have developed. As I like to say every Friday at 7 p.m., damn you Les Moonves.

On Saturday just before sunset, Vice President Dick Cheney “accidentally” shot 78 year old Austin attorney Harry Whittington while they were “allegedly” hunting for quail. The other hunter in the group was Pamela Willeford, the U.S. ambassador to Switzerland. Mr. Whittington was sprayed with birdshot across his face, shoulder and chest. After being looked after by Mr. Cheney’s security detail, Mr. Whittington was rushed to the hospital, and he’s reportedly in stable condition.

If this was anyone else I would think it was a hunting accident. This isn’t anyone else. Dick Cheney is the “Prince of Darkness” and people like that don’t accidentally shoot people. If they shoot you, believe me they meant it. Now why would Darth Vader shoot a 78 year old man? I could think of only one plausible reason. Mr. Cheney wasn’t hunting quail; he was hunting the most dangerous game of them all, MAN!

This story made me think of the 1994 classic movie, Surviving the Game, starring A list actors, Ice-T, Gary Busey, Charles S. Dutton, Rutger Hauer and academy award winner, (and with projects like this we can understand why) F. Murray Abraham. Just in case you don’t remember the plot, let me refresh your memory. Ice-T is a homeless guy. He is hired to be a hunting guide to these rich hunters. Ice-T discovers that he isn’t really the hunting guide, he’s the hunted. Using his street smarts, Ice-T turns the table on these fools, and the hunted becomes the hunter. I haven’t actually watched but a few minutes of it myself, put if Gary Busey and Rutger Hauer are in it, its got to be good.

Now I missed most of the movie, put I bet Dick didn’t. I’m sure when you’re sitting in your underground bunker you have plenty of time to watch movies, (when you aren’t planning invasions, torture, and stripping civil liberties here at home). I’m sure as Dick saw Ice-T run from Gary Busey and Rutger Hauer; he thought how much fun it would be to be Gary Busey. Since Dick has a bum ticker, he couldn’t be chasing after young prey, so he picked his old friend 78 year old Harry Whittington. Now that’s the type of sport Dick likes. How convenient that the hunt was at the 50,000 acre Armstrong Ranch in south Texas. The owners of the ranch are staunch Texas republicans, along with everyone involved in this hunt. In other words, no pesky eye witnesses. I bet they wish they had handled Enron this smoothly.

So if Vice President Dick Cheney ever invites you to go hunting with him, respectfully decline and give him the name of Ice-T. Only the results this time will be different.

Hi everyone, I’m back. Just got back from Lazyland, and boy was the weather nice. Now it’s time for me to get back to my blog, and I’ll try to keep any other trips to Lazyland to a minimum.

What’s happened since I’ve last written, well about everything. So let me get some thing out of the way. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! This should indicate how behind I am. Congratulations to the Texas Longhorns for defeating the “greatest” team in college football history. HOOK’EM HORNS!!! That was a lot of fun; we’ll be celebrating being National Champions here in Austin until they win the next one, hopefully next season (though without Vince, it might be a longer wait than that).

The Super Bowl was last Sunday and I’d like to congratulate the Steelers for defeating the….whoever it was they played. That shows how memorable that game was. The most exciting part of it was waiting for Grey’s Anatomy to come on. If you saw it, you’ll agree it was well worth the wait. From getting George’s lesbian shower dream, to watching Meredith putting her hand on the bomb to keep it from going off, that was one explosive night of TV. Sorry for sinking so low for that pun.

For many people the highlight of the Super Bowl are the commercials. For me it’s usually the game, but sense it was a bit dull I paid more attention to the commercials. Here are some of my thoughts on some of them.

So Jessica Simpson goes from Nick to trying to seduce underage boys with pizza. I enjoyed the Bud Light commercials, especially the magic fridge, the grizzly bear and the naked lamb streaker. The Career Builder.com commercial with the guy working in the office with the monkeys, and the second one where he’s talking to the women who works in an office with jackasses was hilarious. I’ve worked in both of those offices myself. My personal favorite was the Ameriquest Mortgage Company commercial with the woman in the plane who looks like she’s trying to join the mile high club. The look on the woman’s face when the lights on the plane come on and everyone is looking at her as it looks like she’s straddling her fellow passenger, priceless.

I'll be back, and I promise it won't be until 2007.