Wednesday, September 21, 2005
"What was that crap?" The 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards
I don’t usually watch the Emmys, the shows and actors they ignore and the shows and actors they reward are just too painful for me to watch. Since I’m doing this blog and have a TV review website, I figured I’d man up and watch this year. How do I get myself into these things?
The 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards opens with a voiceover from Jack Bauer parodying the opening of 24. (I’ll be mixing and matching everyone’s characters names and real names, depending on which one is easier for me to remember or spell. I’m kind of lazy folks.) Then they have some past winners (and John Travolta) talking bout when they accepted their Emmy. Earth, Wind & Fire comes out singing “September” except the lyrics have been changed to talk about the past TV season. I tuned out immediately. To further destroy a great song, the Black Eyed Peas join EWF to rap and get the audience on their feet. Whoever is EWF’s agent should be fired immediately. I guess next he’ll have them doing weddings and bar mitzvahs.
Ellen DeGeneres monologue was pretty good. Ellen is never fall down laughing funny too me. At her best she gets me to chuckle and I did chuckle at a few things she said. The joke I liked the best: if you lose the Emmy, it’s not because you’re a bad person, it’s because you’re a bad actor. The first presenters were the Desperate Housewives themselves. They all looked good so it was easy to ignore the patter. Felicity Huffman did make me laugh when she recognized how lame it was by saying “Clunk”. They presented the best supporting actor in a comedy to Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond (ELR). I couldn’t believe he beat out Jeremy Piven or Jeffrey Tambor. That was an indication how the night would go.
Jack Bauer presented the best supporting actor in a drama to Captain Kirk himself William Shatner. I was beginning to get the feeling the voters hadn’t bothered to watch any TV this season. One of the guys from Lost should have won this. Then the Emmy Idol competition began, with the Donald and Karen from Will and Grace singing the theme to Green Acres. I’m sure the late Eddie Albert turned in his grave.
Blythe Danner won best supporting actress in a drama for Huff, a show I saw 10 minutes of before I turned the channel. HBO started winning their traditional Emmys for miniseries or movie. Willow and Doogie who are co-stars on that new CBS sitcom introduced the next Emmy Idol contestant, our own Veronica Mars singing Fame. Kirsten Bell is actually a talented singer but I wasn’t feeling it, the song didn’t exactly have me jumping on my furniture because I can live forever. One of the best parts of the evening took place when they presented the Emmy for the writers of variety, music or comedy programming. Each show sent hilarious pictures, Ali G. had porn shots of his writers, the Daily Show had their writers goofing off, Conan had his writers names speed by and just showed him in a glamour shot with the wind blowing through his hair and Dave had Regis fighting with a bear. It was all very funny. Of course I was brought back down when Doris Roberts of ELR won for supporting actress comedy series. Her beating out Jessica Walters shows this isn’t a just universe.
David Letterman comes out to pay tribute to Johnny Carson. It’s a nice tribute. Some people think Jay should have been on stage with Dave, but I disagree, Dave was close to Johnny and carries his legacy more so than Jay. Ellen’s girlfriend introduces the next Emmy Idol contestants, Warrick from CSI and Macy Gray singing Movin’ On Up from The Jeffersons. Warrick has a decent voice. Lost wins best direction for a drama series. House wins writing for a drama series. The most memorable moment of the show was when S. Epatha Merkerson won the Emmy for actress in a miniseries or movie. She had put her acceptance speech in her bosom and it kept moving down so she couldn’t retrieve it. She made up for it with her enthusiasm, grace and charm. John Stewart came on and had a hilarious bit where he’s recorded some biting political commentary and the CBS censors have edited it fearing the FCC. It alone proves why Stewart deserves every award he receives.
Arrested Development wins writing in a comedy series for The Righteous Brothers episode that had my man Franklin in it. Kirk and opera singer Frederica von Stade are the last Emmy Idol contestant and they do the theme to Star Trek. Shatner did the show’s opening, and the opera singer did the singing part. It was funny and I thought it would win Emmy Idol. I should have known better. The first big shock of the evening was Felicity Huffman beating out her co-stars to win lead actress in a comedy series. I think Felicity Huffman is a top notch actress and she does a good job on Desperate Housewives with what she has to work with, but Lynette is the worse character on the show. I’ve fast forwarded through her storylines many of a time. I blame it on the writers. Marcia Cross deserved to win because she does such an outstanding job with Bree. In another actress hands Bree could have been a one note caricature but in Marcia Cross’s hands she became a complex sympathetic character. It also doesn’t hurt that she’s gorgeous.
The next big shock is Patricia Arquette winning actress in a drama series. Of the five nominees she was probably given the fifth best chance to win. It just kept coming. Tony Shalhoub won for actor in a comedy series. It wasn’t an upset or undeserved, but I would have loved to see Jason Bateman or Zach Braff win. James Spader won actor in a drama series again for the second year in a row. Too my shock the Donald won Emmy Idol. With the elections in 2004 and now this, my faith in democracy has been deeply shaken. My mood was lifted up again when Lost won outstanding drama series. It was crushed again when Everybody Loves Raymond won outstanding comedy. Most people probably wanted Desperate Housewives, I thought Arrested Development would repeat and hoping against hope that Scrubs would pull the upset. ELR’s win confirmed that the Emmy voters like to stay with the same ole same ole.
Well the Emmys is like Labor Day, the official close of the previous season. This was actually a good season with a lot of new and interesting shows and stars. Too bad the Emmys don’t do a better job reflecting it. They did recognize Desperate Housewives and Lost, but only because they were so huge. It would be great if they started recognizing shows that aren’t on the big 4 and HBO. Someone should tell the Emmy voters that the WB, UPN, FX, SciFi and other channels have some excellent shows too that should be recognized. Maybe next year, a guy can dream.
The 57th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards opens with a voiceover from Jack Bauer parodying the opening of 24. (I’ll be mixing and matching everyone’s characters names and real names, depending on which one is easier for me to remember or spell. I’m kind of lazy folks.) Then they have some past winners (and John Travolta) talking bout when they accepted their Emmy. Earth, Wind & Fire comes out singing “September” except the lyrics have been changed to talk about the past TV season. I tuned out immediately. To further destroy a great song, the Black Eyed Peas join EWF to rap and get the audience on their feet. Whoever is EWF’s agent should be fired immediately. I guess next he’ll have them doing weddings and bar mitzvahs.
Ellen DeGeneres monologue was pretty good. Ellen is never fall down laughing funny too me. At her best she gets me to chuckle and I did chuckle at a few things she said. The joke I liked the best: if you lose the Emmy, it’s not because you’re a bad person, it’s because you’re a bad actor. The first presenters were the Desperate Housewives themselves. They all looked good so it was easy to ignore the patter. Felicity Huffman did make me laugh when she recognized how lame it was by saying “Clunk”. They presented the best supporting actor in a comedy to Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond (ELR). I couldn’t believe he beat out Jeremy Piven or Jeffrey Tambor. That was an indication how the night would go.
Jack Bauer presented the best supporting actor in a drama to Captain Kirk himself William Shatner. I was beginning to get the feeling the voters hadn’t bothered to watch any TV this season. One of the guys from Lost should have won this. Then the Emmy Idol competition began, with the Donald and Karen from Will and Grace singing the theme to Green Acres. I’m sure the late Eddie Albert turned in his grave.
Blythe Danner won best supporting actress in a drama for Huff, a show I saw 10 minutes of before I turned the channel. HBO started winning their traditional Emmys for miniseries or movie. Willow and Doogie who are co-stars on that new CBS sitcom introduced the next Emmy Idol contestant, our own Veronica Mars singing Fame. Kirsten Bell is actually a talented singer but I wasn’t feeling it, the song didn’t exactly have me jumping on my furniture because I can live forever. One of the best parts of the evening took place when they presented the Emmy for the writers of variety, music or comedy programming. Each show sent hilarious pictures, Ali G. had porn shots of his writers, the Daily Show had their writers goofing off, Conan had his writers names speed by and just showed him in a glamour shot with the wind blowing through his hair and Dave had Regis fighting with a bear. It was all very funny. Of course I was brought back down when Doris Roberts of ELR won for supporting actress comedy series. Her beating out Jessica Walters shows this isn’t a just universe.
David Letterman comes out to pay tribute to Johnny Carson. It’s a nice tribute. Some people think Jay should have been on stage with Dave, but I disagree, Dave was close to Johnny and carries his legacy more so than Jay. Ellen’s girlfriend introduces the next Emmy Idol contestants, Warrick from CSI and Macy Gray singing Movin’ On Up from The Jeffersons. Warrick has a decent voice. Lost wins best direction for a drama series. House wins writing for a drama series. The most memorable moment of the show was when S. Epatha Merkerson won the Emmy for actress in a miniseries or movie. She had put her acceptance speech in her bosom and it kept moving down so she couldn’t retrieve it. She made up for it with her enthusiasm, grace and charm. John Stewart came on and had a hilarious bit where he’s recorded some biting political commentary and the CBS censors have edited it fearing the FCC. It alone proves why Stewart deserves every award he receives.
Arrested Development wins writing in a comedy series for The Righteous Brothers episode that had my man Franklin in it. Kirk and opera singer Frederica von Stade are the last Emmy Idol contestant and they do the theme to Star Trek. Shatner did the show’s opening, and the opera singer did the singing part. It was funny and I thought it would win Emmy Idol. I should have known better. The first big shock of the evening was Felicity Huffman beating out her co-stars to win lead actress in a comedy series. I think Felicity Huffman is a top notch actress and she does a good job on Desperate Housewives with what she has to work with, but Lynette is the worse character on the show. I’ve fast forwarded through her storylines many of a time. I blame it on the writers. Marcia Cross deserved to win because she does such an outstanding job with Bree. In another actress hands Bree could have been a one note caricature but in Marcia Cross’s hands she became a complex sympathetic character. It also doesn’t hurt that she’s gorgeous.
The next big shock is Patricia Arquette winning actress in a drama series. Of the five nominees she was probably given the fifth best chance to win. It just kept coming. Tony Shalhoub won for actor in a comedy series. It wasn’t an upset or undeserved, but I would have loved to see Jason Bateman or Zach Braff win. James Spader won actor in a drama series again for the second year in a row. Too my shock the Donald won Emmy Idol. With the elections in 2004 and now this, my faith in democracy has been deeply shaken. My mood was lifted up again when Lost won outstanding drama series. It was crushed again when Everybody Loves Raymond won outstanding comedy. Most people probably wanted Desperate Housewives, I thought Arrested Development would repeat and hoping against hope that Scrubs would pull the upset. ELR’s win confirmed that the Emmy voters like to stay with the same ole same ole.
Well the Emmys is like Labor Day, the official close of the previous season. This was actually a good season with a lot of new and interesting shows and stars. Too bad the Emmys don’t do a better job reflecting it. They did recognize Desperate Housewives and Lost, but only because they were so huge. It would be great if they started recognizing shows that aren’t on the big 4 and HBO. Someone should tell the Emmy voters that the WB, UPN, FX, SciFi and other channels have some excellent shows too that should be recognized. Maybe next year, a guy can dream.
